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| Me in front of the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem (Al Quds). |
"It's good to be well, but it's better to be Weller!"
Many moons ago I vowed that I would never be a pastor. No way, no how. I said I would never go out of state for college, and that I would never want to go back to visit the Holy Land. Most of all, I vowed I would never, EVER be a missionary. Then about a year ago, my dear friend Caitlin informed me that, when you say you will "never" do something, it usually means that is where God will call you. Yeah, you're super funny, God; great sense of humor you've got!
Back when I first applied for Candidacy within the ELCA and to study at the Lutheran Theological Seminary in Gettysburg, I was very interested in Youth Ministry- I thought it would be a key focus of what I did as a regular parish pastor. However, as my first year of Seminary progressed and I began to discover the wonderful, diverse options available to pastors, I realized that perhaps I was being called in a different direction than I could not have foreseen. I could do Urban Ministry, International Ministry, work with social services, interfaith and ecumenical work! I could even do....global missions?!??!!
In January I had a minor vocational crises, which resulted in me really trying to give up control to God. I didn't want to deal with it any more, God could take the reigns. No more planning. I decided to explore all of my options, even those that would "never work out", and to take a more active role in my discernment. That's about the time I realized that I wanted to explore options for changing things up during the next year: I considered taking a year off and just getting a job (ha...ha ha...), switching to a Masters program in History or Cultural Studies, or studying abroad. Everything was game, except Young Adults in Global Missions.
To be fair, Amber (my Project Connect Pastor Supervisor Extraordinaire) had mentioned Young Adults in Global Missions (YAGM) during the course of my summer working with the wonderful churches east of the Hudson River back in the summer of 2009 (shout out to NERG!). I'm sure I smiled and said something to the tune of, "Oh, that sounds interesting" while thinking to myself how there was no way I was going to do something like Peace Corps. Bahahahaha, Peace Corps?! Yeah...right. Yet, during my first semester at Seminary YAGM popped up on my radar, at least to the degree that I checked out the website and read up on the programs. Yeah...right. Never. That's so "not Courtney".
Then something changed. With about three weeks until the early application deadline arrived, I decided that I would at least apply for YAGM. Who knows, maybe I'd get placed in the UK, that would be nice. I sent in my application, expressing an interest in the UK, Jerusalem/West Bank, and Central Europe, and, well, the rest is history (or, actually, in my first blog post on the YAGM adventure). So now I'm living and serving in Jerusalem/West Bank, sent here to love and be loved by people, all because of the Holy Spirit. No, it can't get much better than this. Will it be challenging? Yes. Will it change my life? Yes. Is it where I'm supposed to be right now? Absolutely.
In January I had a minor vocational crises, which resulted in me really trying to give up control to God. I didn't want to deal with it any more, God could take the reigns. No more planning. I decided to explore all of my options, even those that would "never work out", and to take a more active role in my discernment. That's about the time I realized that I wanted to explore options for changing things up during the next year: I considered taking a year off and just getting a job (ha...ha ha...), switching to a Masters program in History or Cultural Studies, or studying abroad. Everything was game, except Young Adults in Global Missions.
To be fair, Amber (my Project Connect Pastor Supervisor Extraordinaire) had mentioned Young Adults in Global Missions (YAGM) during the course of my summer working with the wonderful churches east of the Hudson River back in the summer of 2009 (shout out to NERG!). I'm sure I smiled and said something to the tune of, "Oh, that sounds interesting" while thinking to myself how there was no way I was going to do something like Peace Corps. Bahahahaha, Peace Corps?! Yeah...right. Yet, during my first semester at Seminary YAGM popped up on my radar, at least to the degree that I checked out the website and read up on the programs. Yeah...right. Never. That's so "not Courtney".
Then something changed. With about three weeks until the early application deadline arrived, I decided that I would at least apply for YAGM. Who knows, maybe I'd get placed in the UK, that would be nice. I sent in my application, expressing an interest in the UK, Jerusalem/West Bank, and Central Europe, and, well, the rest is history (or, actually, in my first blog post on the YAGM adventure). So now I'm living and serving in Jerusalem/West Bank, sent here to love and be loved by people, all because of the Holy Spirit. No, it can't get much better than this. Will it be challenging? Yes. Will it change my life? Yes. Is it where I'm supposed to be right now? Absolutely.
To be quite honest, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up (I frankly don't know when that happens). I know that I want to serve God by loving and serving people, but that can happen in many ways. All I know is that somehow I will continue to pursue learning and experiencing the power of God, the love of Christ and the creativity of the Holy Spirit by exploring the diversity of Creation, and help others to see that beauty in new ways. Right now, that requires me being completely present in the moment of my year in the West Bank, with the plan of returning to LTSG in the Fall of 2012 to continue work on my MDiv degree and pursue ordination within the ELCA. Where I'll be in a year, literally only God knows, but I'm excited to find out. Won't you join me?
A Prayer by Archbishop Oscar Romero
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capability.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the lord's grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results,
but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Amen.
